As first date experts, we are often asked “what can I do to become a more successful dater?” While there isn’t a foolproof list or formula, here are the most common characteristics that we’ve seen in those who’ve started single and ended up as an IJL Success Story.

Highly successful daters are Thriving We all know that success isn’t defined by wealth alone. As Matchmakers when we share that someone is successful, we mean that they are thriving in life. When someone is thriving, this may include their career, their finances or other goals they have set for themselves. And when someone is thriving, they have a positive energy that is felt by those around them. When singles feel accomplished in other aspects of their lives, they’re able to put more energy into building quality relationships.

Highly successful daters are Non-Judgmental Keeping an open mind is easier said than done, but we know that our Success Story singles have started the It’s Just Lunch process ready for anything. They view every date as an opportunity to get to know someone new and believe that whether a love connection is made or not, it is still a step in the right direction. They listen, learn, provide helpful feedback and are flexible to the ideas and matches selected for them.

Highly successful daters are Fun Dating is fun, finding your person is fun! If you are not experiencing the fun in dating, then that’s part of the problem. Think about it this way, when you are meeting someone new or going on a second date you should be looking forward to it. That anticipation and excitement creates butterflies and the excitement releases endorphins in your body making you feel good about what you are doing. Singles who approach dating with a playful and light hearted attitude open themselves to more opportunities in their dating life and YES, they are having fun doing it.

Highly successful daters are Good Conversationalists Dating isn’t just about listing off as many facts about yourself as you can and seeing if you’re compatible. Because the fact of the matter is, you won’t find compatibility through lists. You’ll find it through the way your conversation flows and depth you reach with each other. Conversation is an art form, it's about storytelling and listening. We have found that when there are couples that are necessarily a perfect “compatible match on paper”, when they interact it’s the conversation that has taken them to the next level allowing them to connect and thrive.

Highly successful daters are Confident Confidence is essential in all aspects of life AND yes, confidence is huge when it comes to dating. Confidence comes from within and also attracts others. Singles who like who they are on the inside and out and who are happy with where they are at in life (in the moment) are more willing to accept love into their life. They feel good enough in their own skin to feel the worth of a relationship. That’s why it is so important to practice self love.

Highly successful daters Practice Self-Care Whether it be spiritually, mentally or physically, we have seen successful relationships start with individuals being conscious of the way they treat themselves first. Because no matter what you do in life, you should start by being the best version of yourself before adding another person or relationship.

Highly successful daters are Realistic Having a realistic outlook on dating is a common characteristic that our successful couples share. They view relationships as an evolving matter, meaning they don't necessarily believe in “The perfect one”. They believe in finding a connection and building a healthy relationship that evolves over time.

Highly successful daters are Transparent Being transparent when dating is a valuable quality. Successful daters know exactly what they want and they don’t enter into the dating world looking to mess around. They are transparent in how they feel and would never “ghost” a date if they weren’t hitting it off. They don’t believe in wasting anyone’s time and know how to communicate their feelings in an effective way which is the first step in working towards getting exactly what you want.

Highly successful daters are Reliable Everyone wants a partner who is reliable so of course this is a characteristic you want to see in your date and also something others see in you! A reliable person does not have to be told what to do, they are someone you can count on... and when dating we are looking for a true partner to walk hand in hand with. Someone who follows up on their word and has integrity when it comes to the things they commit to and their relationships.

Highly successful daters are Romantic Last but definitely not least, the romantics. Successful daters look at dating as the opportunity to meet someone to share their life with and they are open to finding it in any given situation. The more you open yourself up for love, the more likely you are to find it.


Remember, dating isn’t a scientific formula, or one size fits all. Knowing what has made others successful is a starting point, but the key is finding what works best for you and enjoying yourself along the way.
Last but definitely not least, the romantics. Successful daters look at dating as the opportunity to meet someone to share their life with and they are open to finding it in any given situation. The more you open yourself up for love, the more likely you are to find it.

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